Not long ago, both Scott and I had work commitments, and we both had consumed a few drinks....it started in a somewhat innocent text flirtation, that ended in a full-on sexting session, that I thought I'd share here.
It was only after I shared it with my friends that they informed me he was probably getting himself off while writing, especially, since I was pretty unresponsive. I didn't really know that men do that. I'm pretty sure that husband #1 never did that.... how do you even text while holding your shlong? Despite me not really understanding the logistics, I think they're probably right....
Instead of using my name, whenever he says it, I'll refer to myself as Wanting Widow.
Without further ado...
-Ugh Scott, I'm just the right about of tipsy that if we lived in the same city right now...
- Me too, Wanting Widow
-And I do admire your cleavage. You also have a really shapely face, when you're not SCOWLING
-I'm not scowling, I'm trying to be sexy. I guess it comes more naturally to some
- or a cobalt blue suit in my case
- not sure if we're there yet, but if they made an appearance in person, what might you do to them?
-that's a very good question, Wanting Widow, I have a few crude thoughts that I'll keep to myself.
-Why keep them to yourself?
-Because they are crude. And rude.
-I'm a big girl. I think I can handle it.
-And I'm a dude.
-And you rhyme. Some of the time.
-You are a little girl.
-With big boobs. That happen to have nipples on them.
-I think you might even be described as "tossable"
-What does that mean? You can throw me away? :-(
-What a sad thought! No! Like, bounce you on my...lap. Flip you over.. For a...
-No no. Not a crude dude. Keep those thoughts to myself.
-But I don't know how it ends. I don't understand tossable....