One of the biggest voids I felt after my husband died was that I had no one to send flirty texts to. I am still in love with the man who we'll call husband #1. I always thought he would be my only husband. I told him often that he was my funniest friend, my best friend in the whole wide world. He tucked me into bed one night, and the next morning, I woke up, opened the bathroom door, and found him, lying there. Dead.
It shocked us all.
I will always love him, and yet, I find myself wanting to look for love, or at least flirtations in other avenues. If he was here, I wouldn't need to look. But I'm a (young) woman with needs. With no children. Who wants children one day.
We were going to start to try to have children the year he died.
So I'm on a quest to find husband #2, but acknowledge that:
1. I may have to kiss some frogs to find someone who still may be less of a prince than husband #1
2. The men I date/talk to/sext with are probably not going to be my next husband
3. There's no timeline for looking for or finding love in this world of widowhood
4. I'm a statistical anomaly. I'm younger than 30, was with the same man for nearly 9 years, and now I'm alone. When I never thought I would be. This might be too hard for some men to handle.
The two men that I'm currently talking to, both know I'm a widow, and both admitted that they'd never been in this situation before.
No shit, sherlock. Neither have I.
But knowing that there are at least 2 men out there who want to meet me anyway gives me hope. It's reassuring. And I'm thinking along the way, some interesting things might happen.
If you're not into the dirty details, you probably should stop reading. But I think if you keep reading, you'll have almost as good of a time as I'm trying to have, as I start Chapter 2.
All I can say is "good for you!" I'm only 34, and lost my wife last November to organ transplant rejection/ cystic fibrosis. We have an 8 year old daughter together.
ReplyDeleteYou would think I would be curled up in the fetal postion on the living room floor right now, but honestly, even though I wasn't looking, I found someone new in Feberuary, and we've been rock solid ever since. There isn't any guilt about my wife, in fact, I've grown to love her more, because the new woman understands and "gets it".
I enjoy your writing, and boldness. I'll be following! I personally write about my own situation and outlook in two places. http://im-no-hero-blogspot.com is my personal blog, and I am also a featured writer for Widow's Voice, located at http://widowsvoice-sslf.blogspot.com/
Thanks for the encouragement, Mike. I'm glad that your new woman gets it. And I'm glad that you're not curled up in the fetal position. I remember I went to an event a few weeks ago, and a woman said "oh that happened to you? How are you here?" I know that people cope differently, and some may curl up for a bit - which is okay, I think - but it's not the path I chose. It's not what husband #1 would have wanted.
ReplyDelete